Here’s a list of things Ollie has done to troll me in the last couple of days:
Woke me up at 6am for his breakfast (by climbing under the duvet from the end of the bed)
Ate a whole batch of fried halloumi out of a bowl off the counter
Started digging up my newly planted cherry tree
Got poo on his face.
Weed on Spud’s head and I didn’t even notice until we were 20 minutes into a pet therapy visit at the local care home.
Are we dog owners mad? To love these feral beasts? I know I’m not the only one… I’ve watched other people’s dogs knock their owners over, steal food from family picnics and just the other day I asked if I could stroke a lovely-looking dog I met on my walk to which the owner’s reply was “You can but… he’s covered in poo.” Yep, we dog owners are definitely mad.
Of course, it’s not just dogs, this definitely stretches to cover all animals of all shapes and sizes! The number of stories I hear from my friend Jade about her cats… Anyway, this is rapidly turning into a pupdate so let’s crack on with the rest of this newsletter!
Coming up we’ve got me being an attention seeker (gasp!) a print discount and absolute manipulation from Spud and Ollie…
Read on, Reader!
On the left ollie wears a cute neck scarf. On the right we have Ollie seconds after trying to dig up the aforementioned cherry tree. These photos together are like a before and after pic of the first day back at school…
“Mummy watch me”
No one warns you that the birth of nieces and nephews will bring about a shift in your family hierarchy. Traditionally parents are always at the top of the pyramid followed by siblings in birth order. As the youngest, predictably I was at the bottom of the pack in our unit. The introduction of a niece and nephew, I thought, might offer me the chance to elevate my position within the family pecking order.
Let’s start with my nephew: Murray. He arrived into our lives almost 11 years ago and I remember thinking at the time “Here’s my chance - how hard can it be to outshine a baby”. I could smell my promotion. And yet, when I realised my nephew was taking centre stage for simple acts such as ‘breathing’ and ‘eating’ I knew things weren’t going to plan. In an act of desperation, I decided to take up hula hooping… but it was no good. Turns out first-born grandchildren are far too charismatic for their own good and my spinning a hoop into the air can’t compete with Murray learning what noise a cow makes. I mean, talk about being the ultimate nepo baby; he had a leg up on me before he was even born.
And then my niece came along and with her: a second chance. She’s now 7. I’m not sure which one of us took up Gymnastics first but all I know is that last summer Emily used to be impressed by my attempts at handstands and all of a sudden she has completely lapped me. Every time we get together she’s learned a new trick, contorting her body into various shapes like an origami swan whilst I mess up a simple forward roll mumbling something about the ground not being flat…. having been the resident attention-seeker within my family for the best part of 33 years, it’s a difficult baton to hand over to the next generation and I won’t go down without a fight... My brother-in-law frequently takes me aside to remind me “It’s not a competition, Tori” to which I will laugh over-zealously and cry out “I know that!” whilst tears shine in my eyes and I mentally book myself in for another practice at the gym the following week…
Discounted Clash Prints (due to misprint) Limited Availability!
This is by far one of my most popular prints and I’ve got a really great opportunity for you to nab one at a discounted price - newsletter readers obviously getting first dibs!
I have 5 of these prints in A2 size available at a reduced price: normally £80 but you can nab one for just £50 which is over 30% off…
The reason is that there has been a misprint where you can still see the edge of the paper from where it has been scanned. It’s not visible in the main pic but I’ve added two extra pics showing you an example of the misprint. Use the link below to shop and to see the pics… It’s nothing that can’t be hidden when framed but I’m selling discounted all the same so enjoy!
Online workshops
The latest theme is a Lilac-Breasted Roller! This is a colourful bird native to Africa… if you’ve never painted with watercolours you’re in fora treat. Click the link below to book and if you can’t make the date grab a ticket anyway as I can send you the recording to do in your own time… the perfect relaxing activity to do by yourself or even with friends. And also a great opportunity to spend time away from your phone and focusing on yourself!
Pet Portraits
I don’t know how I’ve ended up with this guys but I currently have 19 commissions on my pet portrait list!! That’s wild, things have really kicked up a gear this year and I am so grateful! But it does mean that wait time for commissions is now about 3 months which will take us up to September, so bear this in mind if you’re thinking about Christmas…
Royal Highland & Pittenweem
I am so glad that I haven’t overbooked myself with big shows this year. Instead I have been focusing on the wholesale side of things and then attending smaller events such as the craft market at Bowhouse and safe to say that’s all been keeping me busy!
However I do have two big events this year… first up we’ve got Royal Highland Show where myself and the Packing Elf will be running my stand… you will be able to find us in the 3D/2D craft marquee which should be up by the Land Rover Experience again so come find us…
I’ve then got Pittenweem Arts Festival in August which I am BEYOND excited for! I’m teaming up with Fife-based jeweller Marion from Marion Made Jewellery so please do pop along and support us along with all the other exhibiting artists. You can find all the event information an list of exhibitors by clicking below:
Wee shall not be moved….
So you guys know we bought a house. And you know that one of the main reasons we bought a house was so the dogs could have a garden and we wouldn’t be forced out on late-night expeditions down two flights of stairs just for them to empty their pea-bladders before they go to sleep.
But now we’ve moved and the garden is mere inches away… can I get these dogs off the sofa and outside at 10 o’clock at night? Hell no.
Come 10pm when I rise from the sofa to go to bed, they turn into a couple of limpits; no crashing wave nor harassed owner can entice them to part ways with their precious rock. And when they finally get up they slink straight off to the bedroom without so much as poking their nose through the back door that I’m holding open for them like a loser.
It’s the ultimate slap in the face, like that time I made our old family cat a bed for Christmas and he made a point of sleeping on the hard floor next to it. Never got over that one.
It’s not that the dogs don’t like the garden, they adore it during the day. But the new close-proximity to the outdoors has apparently made the idea of a late night wee less appealing. It is no longer forbidden fruit. Or perhaps it was never about the wee… as I type this out I’m realising that at our old flat, the motivation behind the late night outdoor expeditions was about the food. The banquets of nuts and yoghurt pots that one lady used to leave out for the squirrels, and of course the loaves of bread and the chicken wings that could be found in the bushes behind out flat… wow. They never needed a wee. Those little… *censored for swearing*.
Anyway, to calm my nerves after this realisation I genuinely just had as I typed that paragraph out… here are a couple of pics of the dogs from the last two weeks:
Below: The lengths my dad and I will go to get good pics of the dogs…
That’s another newsletter wrapped up! Thank you to those of you who rock up here every Sunday to read my words… it makes the late nights curating each edition totally worth it!
As I mentioned I’ve got Royal Highland Show next week so lets see how that goes… I will report back in two weeks. Tata for now! xxx Oh and a rather amusing nap pawsition below as usual…
Ollie is napping in another universe