Someone once told me that if a cat eats weed they stay high forever.
Okay I doubt that’s true, but still, Spud’s eaten weed three times and I do sometimes look at him and think… are you still high? For newbies, no, I did not feed my dog weed. I know I sound like I’m making it up when I say he “found it in a park on our dog walk” but… he genuinely found it in a park on our dog walk (twice in Spain, once in Edinburgh). Either that or he has a dealer he’s meeting up with behind our backs...
But honestly, you won’t find a more unbothered creature walking this earth. I guess raising yourself on the streets of Greece for the first 9 months of your life will do that to a dog. Nothing scares him. You can hoover right up around him, you can open drawers mere inches above his head… I even accidentally dropped my kindle on him the other day whilst he was sleeping and he literally just rolled over and went back to sleep before I’d even managed to retrieve it.
The other day he was asleep with his arms up in the air and I thought, as you do, “I wonder what would happen if I placed this cardboard tube I’m holding under his armpits”. Well, like a newborn gripping it’s parents finger, his tube-grabbing reflex kicked in and he drew it into his chest. He didn’t look weirded out at all, he was just like “This is me now, I shall henceforth always live with a tube under my armpits ”.
So I guess the lesson is that when live gives you cardboard tubes… stick them under your armpits? Profound.
But now, enough about our resident potato, we’ve got a newsletter to read. This week we’ve got an update on the move, a future new member of staff and predictably Ollie is up to no good in the pupdate section. Of course there’s some arty stuff in between because believe it or not owning a dog is not actually my full-time job.
Scroll on readers! Oh, and here’s that pic of Spud with the tube because I know you’re just dying to see it…
Welcome to the Pig Sty
That’s an unfair comparison to pigs which are actually incredibly neat and tidy animals who when given the chance will even bring flowers into their homes to make it smell nice. I’m sure if a pig were to set foot in our house this week it would scream and clutch its pearls before passing out on the floor…
Safe to say we are in the eye of the storm when it comes to moving house. We are 5 days away and in that awkward stage where it feels too early to pack up the things you use day-to-day and yet simultaneously you’re in a constant state of panic because not everything has been packed up.
I had envisioned ‘final dinner parties in the flat’ and ‘making the most of the bathroom’ but we absolutely cannot have guests over right now and my bathroom is looking less and less like a sanctuary with every passing day and more and more like the store room of a janitor. In order to find any kind of relaxation in the bath these days I have to stare stubbornly at the ceiling so as to try block out the boxes, baskets and towels littered around me.
The only benefit is that any sadness about moving has evaporated and been replaced by a claustrophobic need to get out of this flat as soon as possible.
We have been here 5 years but it’s time for pastures new… Juan is packing up the kitchen as we speak whilst I’ve suddenly become VERY engrossed in writing this newsletter and … yep… no I can’t help you Juan I have another 1000 words to write.
By the time the next newsletter goes out in two weeks we will have been living in our new house 9 days. Since it’s a fixer-upper with 1970s decor, an ancient kitchen and mould covering the wall in one room, I can only imagine what kind of content will be produced for the next edition… stay tuned! *laughs nervously*
Next Generation
Tori Ratcliffe Art is a family-run business. My sister helps with admin, my Dad has been known to hand my business cards to strangers with dogs, and my mum, well, she’s The Packing Elf *mic drop*. I’ve even been known to import staff from abroad, that is to say, my Spanish husband helps me with my website.
So you can imagine that, like a hungry talent scout, I’ve been keeping my eye on my niece and nephew as they grow up wondering when is too soon to rope them into taking on a role at Tori Ratcliffe Art Inc. I couldn’t contain my excitement when my niece volunteered to help with packing cards up for a trade order just the other week. At just 7 years old I watched as her tiny hands methodically folded my greeting cards with a precision and accuracy I had not known she possessed. Where has the little girl gone who balded my expensive paintbrush painting an egg box just one summer ago? My eyes glittered like a collector coming across a rare Faberge egg…
But then I watched her trying to put a sticky closing tab on the cards and it was like she’d been blindfolded and told to play pin the tail on the donkey... okay, so maybe she could do with proving in the oven a little longer so to speak. But I see potential, I see potential.
Anyway let’s see what art updates we’ve got this week shall we…
Win an A3 Pet Portrait (worth £600) for just £10 with the Wild at Heart Foundation
I’m very excited to have been asked to donate a pet portrait for the Wild at Heart Spring Raffle! I was going to do an A4 but swapped to an A3 at the last minute which means you can fit TWO pets on there! So if you’ve had your eye on a commission for a while this is your chance…. and you could win it for just £10!
All funds raised will be going straight to Wild at Heart Foundation to help them rescue more dogs in need and find them homes.
There’s 13 other amazing prizes up for grabs from 5* hotels to a luxury weekend break in Devon. But hurry, there are only 100 tickets per item!
Although I should really just promote my own pet portrait commission there are lots of other incredible prizes so I’ve linked both my entry and the main page of the raffle below…
Gartur Stitch Farm ‘On-location’ Watercolour Workshop
Wow I can’t believe how many tickets have already sold for these workshops already!
This April 27 & 28th I will be heading back to Gartur Stitch Farm in Stirling to run my full-day painting workshops… if you like animals, food and exploring your creative side then this workshop is for YOU.
Let me talk you through the day. The location of Gartur Stitch Farm is just stunning as it’s on the edge of the Scottish Highlands and is surrounded by beautiful hills. We will be painting inside a beautiful stone barn which has the doors open to the outside. We start the day with coffee and delicious home-baked goods before we start with some fun and relaxing warm-up exercises (this time we will be painting mushrooms!) We then start painting our hares. We then break for a delicious lunch made by local chef Lucy who sources the food from the land around her. We then do a tour of the farm and meet the animals (who all have names) before coming back to finish painting our hares. We enjoy final cakes and coffee to round off the day.
These workshops are about trying something new and having fun. So, if you’re a complete beginner you are encouraged to come as most people who attend my workshops have never even picked up a paintbrush. It’s also guaranteed to be a really warm and welcoming environment so don’t be shy if you’re thinking about coming by yourself!
This event is guaranteed to leave you feeling happy and with a sense of well-being. Check the link below to get booked on!
P.S Did I mention they have new baby goats for you to cuddle??
Online Workshops
A quick reminder of my upcoming online workshops… I am enjoying these so much! Whilst my in-studio classes have now drawn to a close for summer, I will be continuing these online ones since for me I am loving getting to do some relaxed painting at home.
I am going to be running my ‘Elephant’ workshop online as a fundraiser for the victims of the Palestinian crisis which I will post about on social media when I finally put the event up (hopefully next week). I will make sure to mention it in the next newsletter so if you’d like tickets look out for the next edition!
So, Ollie’s found his feet.
Or legs for that matter. Despite having pins Gisele Bündchen would be proud of he’s never quite worked out how to use them, instead literally stumbling through life like a stiltwalker on his first day at the circus.
I miss those days of unconfident Ollie. Now he’s hopping in and out of the boot with the confidence of an Olympic pole vaulter and I can’t get him to stop. Everytime I leave the damned car I come back to a sheepish-looking dog sat awkwardly in the front seat proclaiming he has no idea how he got there. And you’ll bet that any food will be gone by the time I return to the car. A few weeks ago he devoured a half packet of chocolate fingers and another half packet of pretzels with the thoroughness of a Viking who’s just stumbled across an unguarded village.
It’s made worse on days when he’s filthy after a dog walk (see above). But I have a rule where he has to go back into the boot the same way he came, which means going over the back seats. This involves me leaning into the back of the car and pushing him with cries of “UP! UP!” in the hopes he’ll clamber back over to join Spud in economy. It takes some work. He convinces himself that he doesn’t know how he got out of the boot and therefore “can’t get back in it” even though I’m literally directing him from behind. He’s so resistant, it’s like trying to guide a fly back out the open window it just flew in from.
But we went through it with Spud and we will get through it with Ollie. He turns 4 at the end of the year and that’s supposedly when they ‘mature’ so one can hope. Let the countdown begin!
Here’s another pic of Ollie being a total piglet… (Juan was eating an ice cream!)
I think this was the fastest I’ve ever written a newsletter. Sure I am still editing it at 10.49pm the night before it goes out but some habits die hard…
I hope you’ve all had a great couple of weeks since we last spoke. I just want to give a thank you to those of you who sent kind words and wishes after the last newsletter regarding the sad passing of my grandma. It has been an emotional couple of weeks, business has been very much in the air and I’ve lost count of how many ‘sorry for the delay with your order’ emails I’ve had to send out. But thank you to everyone for being so understanding. I am almost caught up with all my admin (finally) so everything should be back to running smoothly in the next couple of days (although, did it ever run smoothly?!)
Anyway, take care and we shall catch up again in another two weeks…
Tata for now! Here’s your Nap Pawsition of the Week to end on. Its a peaceful one. xx
Ollie putting his chin on Spud is like a game of Buck-a-roo… one wrong move and it’s game over…